Commitment Phoba Story - Justin (9th October 2007)
I have recently discovered finally that I am truly a full fledged committment phobic person in EVERY aspect of my life!
Just recognizing this and realizing that this is a legit phobia has helped me to being a kind of healing and moving on process.
For YEARS I would chase romantic pursuits and I would be thrilled at the chase, but as soon as the chase ended and things potentially became serious I would freak out and do my best to sabotoge the relationship-almost always ending it in the worst way possible.
Most of my "relationships" that have worked have worked because they weren't definite, they weren't with people who were "available." This was fun and exciting and I was actually hurt when the other people ended it, but in hidsight I realize this wasn't the most healthy thing for me.
At first I tossed it off that it was just because I was a gay man, however I now know this is not the case. I have a rather unconventional artistic career (I'm an opera singer)...and as a young performer I recently made a big move to a huge city.
I decided it was time to move from what I had known for seven years and not settle. Even in this big city I was scared of getting stuck, scared of being there forever, scared of taking on a day job because I might be stuck in it for always.
Iirrationally left the big city-hurting many people I left behind. When I send out resumes and letters I am fine...but when I get the actual call for an interview or something there is a halt in my body that happens and for some reason I don't want to call the person back--I have lost interest and become completely afraid.
Afraid of the job, the interview, and more importantly the perspective "permanancy" that comes with it--because I'm afraid I wont be able to get back into what I love doing. But reality says..."you need a good day job to support yourself." It's very true.
So I believe the first step for me has been recognizing that I really am committment phobic...I have begun to continually tell myself that NOTHING is permanent--life really isn't permanent..it's always changing.
The earth is in constant rotation. I tell myself that if I get a job then I always have the choice to leave-I'm NEVER stuck. I can still do what I want to do.
Also in relationships it will be the same thing. I am also planning on seeing a therapist again once I start working. I would love to know more about this and hear from others who have the same thing and find out how they are dealing with it because for me it has been debilitating lately.
Justin
Looking for help with Commitment Phobia?
It's important to remember, that if you suffer from commitment phobia, then help is available.
Commitment phobia (the fear of committing to things, particularly relationships) responds really well to therapies such as 'Pure' Hypnoanalysis.
Information on websites such as Avon Hypnotherapy's Commitment Phobia page go to show that commitment phobia is well understood, and can indeed be helped.
Avon Hypnotherapy is a London (England, UK) based practice that uses 'Pure' Hypnoanalysis.
'Pure' Hypnoanalysis has helped countless people over the years with commitment phobia. The aim of 'Pure' Hypnoanalysis is not to 'control', or 'manage' the problem, the aim is to resolve it completely.
If you're in the UK and looking for help with commitment phobia, make sure you use their FREE 'find-a-therapist' service.
Using the 'find-a-therapist' service, they will put you in touch with a therapist in your area trained in the use of 'Pure' Hypnoanalysis.
Do you have a commitment phobia story that you would like to share? Tell us your story.
